TAKEAWAYS
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It can feel natural to be jealous.
Harriet admits that it would be easier if Keith’s new girlfriend was a troll (who was obviously worse than Harriet in every way) instead of being the beautiful and fashionable Remy.
Before even getting to know Remy, Harriet immediately dislikes her just for the fact that she stole Keith’s heart. However, after spending time with Remy in their work-study at the library circulation desk, Harriet becomes friends with her and feels bad for judging her.
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Everyone’s bound to face some sort of struggle during college.
While there’s no clear answer to each scenario, Harriet (or “Emma”) responds with her best guess (and her advice is sometimes tainted through whatever’s going on in her life, so she’s more harsh to guys after Keith ghosts her).
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Two best friends from high school go to the same college. Both of them wanted to get into this one particular sorority, but only one got in. This girl is frustrated that her best friend expects her to hang out all the time, but it can be hard to put clear boundaries in place in a way that preserves the friendship while giving each other enough space.
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A girl is upset that her boyfriend heavily implied he would take her to the dance but then ended up announcing that he’s taking his ex-girlfriend instead (since he promised his ex months ago). The girl is disappointed and nervous that her boyfriend and his ex will want to get back together after the dance. She’s unsure if she should let her insecurity and jealousy drive her to break up with her boyfriend (and show up to the dance with a different hot guy for revenge), or if she should demand that he should not take his ex to the dance, or if she should trust him that nothing’s going to happen.
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A dude on a football scholarship feels like he doesn’t fit in at his current college since he’s not forming any meaningful friendships. He wonders if he should transfer to a college closer to his hometown, where a couple of his high school friends go. If he transfers, he will have to play catch-up with his friends’ new lives, and things might get better at his current college if he sticks it out.
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A girl befriends people who are from rich families. When they go out, she feels bad that she can’t afford more than one drink, and she declines when her friends offer to pay for her.
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Remy is experiencing a repeat of what Harriet experienced with Keith. Remy and Keith started out strong for the first month, but then things started fizzling out. Keith started responding less and less to Remy’s texts and started becoming more and more distant. Remy’s not sure if things will pick up again in their relationship, or if she should break things off if there’s no point.
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A girl (whose older siblings are all doctors) majors in theater. She too tried being pre-med, and she was good at it (at least the introductory classes), but her heart is with acting. At first, she didn’t mind when her family joked that she hogged all the creativity genes and that she’ll be poor while her siblings will be rich. But when her parents made the comment that her siblings will be helping people while she won’t be, that stung. She’s not sure if she should switch to a more practical major or continue studying what she loves.
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A guy can’t decide between two girls that he likes.
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No matter how qualified we are to give advice, it’s up to the people we’re giving advice to to decide if they are going to listen to it.
“‘I’m just some person,’ I said. ‘It’s not like I’ve experienced exactly the same things most people ask me about. I barely even know what I’m basing my answers on. Like, sometimes, I find myself writing these opinions and I don’t even know where they come from.’
‘Yeah, but, you’re still an authority,’ said Mel. ‘You have a column.’
‘But is that it?’ I said. ‘Is that the only reason people let me give them advice is because of the column?’
‘I mean, yes, that is why people ask you for advice…’ said Logan. ‘Because you have an advice column…’
‘You know what I mean!’ I said. ‘Is there anything about me -- just me -- that makes me qualified to tell people what to do?’
‘I don’t think anyone is really qualified to tell people what to do,’ said Logan.
‘You’re going to be a doctor!’
‘Yeah, but, that won’t mean anyone has to listen to me,’ she said. ‘Just because you answer a letter and tell someone what to do one way or another doesn’t mean they do it.’
…Had I been thinking of my advice as verdicts? Off and on I’d wondered what became of the problems people wrote to me with, but it was more in a ‘what were the consequences of doing exactly as I said?’ kind of way. All this time people might have been ignoring me left and right.
‘...If, for example, Remy read your letter, and she did break up with Keith afterward, that doesn’t mean there was a casual relationship between those two events,’ said Logan. ‘She wrote to you when she’d already started thinking about it. You didn’t plant that thought in her head.’
…’People write to you because something is wrong,’ said Logan. ‘Nobody’s going to write to you to be, like, ‘Hey, just wanted to let you know everything with me is pretty good’’ (262-263).
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Some things just aren’t meant to be (but that can be for the best).
After Harriet’s response to Remy’s “Dear Emma” letter encouraged Remy to break up with Keith, Keith finally reached out to Harriet to meet up. However, Harriet realized that he was only reaching out to her out of loneliness (and not out of genuine interest in her), so she found the courage to call things off for good and stop daydreaming about wanting him back. After all, he just isn’t truly into her and would be bound to leave her again when Remy or someone better came along. After Remy and Keith do end up getting back together, Remy and Harriet decide to continue being friends (which is ironic, considering how Harriet disliked Remy at first).
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BONUS: Here’s a fun idea for a date.
Go to the library, and challenge each other to pick out three books in a certain time limit. One book should be something that you’re personally interested in for yourself, and the other two should be something for the other person. Agree to meet at a certain location by a certain time, and then reveal your book selections. Whoever nailed their selections the closest wins.
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