IN EACH OF THEM

It can be easy to take gifts for granted, such as the gift of family.

“Maybe our siblings are much older, or much younger. Regardless, it is frighteningly easy to forget about them. I can’t help but think of home furnishings. To its usual occupants, even the most gorgeous of items in a home can quickly become mundane and lackluster. After a few months, a recently installed grandfather clock may quickly be demoted to nothing more than a common hunk of wood taking up space in the corner; no longer exciting, or even noticeable; quietly ticking away as we walk by it a thousand times over. But when a guest arrives, it instantaneously returns to its former glory when a sincere voice exclaims, ‘Oh my, how beautiful’. The perspective of someone not lulled to sleep by its consistent presence sharply points out the lunacy of how quickly we have trivialized its existence. // In the context of siblings, it is frighteningly easy to do the same. We mustn’t treat our siblings like furniture and allow them to slowly retreat into the corners of our lives. To prevent this retreat, I find it helpful to remember that each of my siblings has many friends. If I asked any of Paul, Theresa, Amy, or Chris’s friends about whether or not they are forgettable, I know that I would be met with an appalled chorus of ‘My goodness, of course not! He/She is one of the best friends I have ever had.’ I want each of them to be one of the best friends I have ever had, too” (31-32).

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Spending time with the less fortunate can make us realize how many privileges we have.

Here are some moments that stuck out to Danny when he worked at a nutrition clinic in a poor neighborhood (right after he came back from a month-long vacation to Europe):

Some of Danny’s clients couldn’t afford a new pair of shoes (while Danny was wearing new, professional-looking shoes).

Some of Danny’s clients complained about their hunger pains (while in the trash can a few feet away, Danny had thrown out a half-eaten lunch).

One of Danny’s diabetic clients rode his bike to the appointment. Danny made light of the situation by telling him that he was “already getting his exercise in”, not realizing that he couldn’t afford a car or a bus pass. He proceeded to miss all the red flags that the client had never been taught how to read until he was forced to embarrassingly admit his secret.

One of Danny’s underweight, malnourished clients was a victim of domestic abuse. Her boyfriend broke her arm and her confidence. Not only was it physically hard for her to open cans, bottles, and packages, but her depression lowered her appetite.

One of Danny’s homeless clients told Danny that she often stood outside of fast food restaurants to beg people to buy her food. Sometimes she could convince her mother to let her sleep on the couch (but only if she was out by 6am and didn’t eat more than a bowl of cereal). She then commented on Danny’s cross necklace and asked if he believed that people could be “ruined”, to which he answered “I guess” and asked for clarification on what she meant. She explained that she grew up in a Satanic household. He asked if she wanted to see a counselor (without even telling her that God loves her). She said it “didn’t matter” and stopped coming in for appointments. Months later, he saw her at a Starbucks, to which he cowardly avoided her (instead of buying her food and sharing the gospel). We can forget how much of a gift it could be to be born into a loving, Christian family.

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There’s great power in a name.

It prompts people to listen more, and it makes statements more personal and believable.

It’s one thing if someone said, “You are so kind.”

It’s another if someone said, “Jessica, you are so kind.”

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Happiness is fleeting, so we need to learn to be content in our faith.

“We might liken happiness to the weather. Variable in its intensity, somewhat temperamental, and largely unpredictable. Maybe the sun is shining. Maybe it has been shining for many months. However, it will eventually hide itself. Perhaps via a simple gust of wind moving the clouds in front of its warm rays. Similarly, with happiness, the addition or subtraction of any number of variables will increase or decrease its intensity. Happiness might even disappear entirely, coming back we know not when. You can’t secure happiness for any length of time because without fail it will eventually slip through your fingers, at least for a while. And so, to seek lasting happiness on earth is a fool’s errand to begin with because it is no more than a fleeting emotion. Looking for lasting happiness among life’s transient artifacts, therefore, orchestrates an unsettling and volatile existence. You can’t claim to have found something that you are constantly searching for. It’s a never-ending game of hide and seek, a relentless search for the sun. We should relentlessly search for the sun, but not that one. Look for the right Son, and we don’t have to worry so much about the weather” (163).

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Our contentment in faith allows us to push through hard times instead of breaking down.

“Happiness depends on circumstances, but joy does not. We might very often find ourselves happy in the midst of our joy, but the happiness component is more of a detachable sidecar to a much more important engine… To be full of joy is to be given a very specific engine that runs perfectly well on thankfulness and the love of God; able to drive through whatever type of weather at whatever speed is required. It is an engine that gratefully hums quietly, despite the difficult tasks demanded of it. // Much is demanded of a joyful engine. Perhaps driving straight through a mountain that seems impassable to everyone else, unselfishly slowing down to let another move forward, or giving a loving jolt to someone who needs to start up again. Unlike the rest, what is most important is this: that an engine of this type does not emit choking exhaust as evidence of its labor. Instead, it gently exhales an enthralling cloud of peace, patience, warmth, and more love that everyone near clamors to breathe in. You know how some people are a breath of fresh air in the middle of the smog? It’s not because of their happiness. It’s because of their joy” (166-167).

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When your heart breaks, how do you put together the shattered pieces?

Do you try to build upon the shaky foundation of alcohol, drugs, and other people?

Or do you hire God to build you up in a way that’s stronger (to brace future blows)?

“Like any contractor, we must allow Him into our home, and therefore into our heart, to allow Him to work. It is critical that we do not delay in hiring Him as we search for quotes elsewhere. He will provide us many quotes for the job. Each of them free of charge, and better than all the rest” (189).

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Time heals broken hearts by pushing us closer to God’s love. But we have to be willing to go for the ride, trusting that God will smooth out our rough edges. We won’t find fulfillment by resisting or avoiding this process.

“Whether we jump into the river voluntarily or He pushes us back in, in time we let Him sweep us away. We can resist all we want, but if we sit on a rock in the middle of a flowing river, will eventually die; unable to eat, unable to stay warm. In a physical sense, jumping back in the river is really the only way to live, trusting in placid waters ahead. That’s the thing about rivers; although formidable and frightening at many points, they end in placid waters. Take the Mississippi, infinitely long, full of treacherous twists and turns, eventually pouring into the calm Gulf of Mexico. When speaking of God’s current, these descriptors hold true. First, no matter our fear, we must jump in if we wish to live. If we submit to the current, without even trying to swim, it will carry us. Even if we sink, we will still move slowly along the river floor. More than likely, we’ll bash into rocks and logs. But regardless of how bruised and bloodied we become, the current always takes us somewhere, somewhere far better than the Gulf of Mexico. I’m glad that stagnancy is not an option for life. // To where does God’s current take us? Our destination is infinitely more exciting and important than the slippery rock from which we departed. In time, we move closer to Him. I suppose that how quickly we move depends on how fast the river is flowing and what we run into. I’d say He puts each of us in a different river, so it depends. I can recall a few people in my life who seem to have hit most of their rocks and logs far upstream. Others encounter rapids every so often. There are still others whose ride has been almost entirely smooth; like a lazy river with a few wide bends” (195-197).

“God delights in us choosing to love Him. He delights in a slow loosening of our fingers as His love wets every part of us” (199).

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you” (Isaiah 43:2).

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We have the invitation for Heaven, and whether we know it or not, our hearts long for our time to come.

“Our hearts beat inside of our chests for every second of our entire lives, as if from the moment of their creation they long to escape them. Perhaps each heartbeat is in fact a knock at God’s front door. The rapid knocking occurs in the moments when we clearly glimpse Him working behind it. It isn’t until our knocking stops forever that He opens the door and we see Him fully” (235).