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BRAIN DUMP

Here's a brain dump of tidbits of wisdom that I heard from homilies, speaker events, podcasts/YouTube videos (such as from Ascension Presents or Catholic Central), etc.

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First, let's take a look at answering these questions:

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Then, let's cover these topics:

DOES GOD EXIST?

It's natural to have doubts about the existence of things that you can't directly interact with. 

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Even many Saints (including Mother Teresa) admit to having periods of doubt.

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  • Are we like Doubting Thomas, refusing to believe the truth until there's clear confirmation (e.g., touches the wounds of the resurrected Christ)?

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While it's good to want to pursue understanding, this kind of skepticism leaves no room for faith.

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As Blaise Pascal wrote, “In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don’t.“

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  • Are we only greenhouse-thrivers?

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Right now, we might only be cultivating our faith while being surrounded by other like-minded individuals (such as on a college campus).

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However, upon graduating or moving to a third-world country, it can be easier for doubt to set in.

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Believing that there’s a God doesn’t mean that absolutely everything has to make sense. If we work backwards, we may see that some things don't make sense WITHOUT a supernatural explanation.

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  • Was the Earth created by pure chance?

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The fact that we exist on a life-supporting planet would be a mind-boggling coincidence if it was due to pure chance.

Astronomer Hugh Ross compared it to the possibility of a Boeing 747 aircraft being completely assembled as a result of a tornado striking a junkyard!

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If the force of gravity was stronger, it would be harder for us to move. If the force of gravity was weaker, we’d be floating.

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If the Earth was closer to the Sun, we would burn. If the Earth was further away from the Sun, we would freeze.

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Water is one of the only liquids that floats when it freezes, so if ice didn’t float, then all the fish and creatures in the sea would die in the winter.

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And then when you also throw in the exact speed in which the Earth rotates and the tilt of the Earth’s axis and the amount of oxygen we have… It’s cool to think about how everything was designed to be balanced so perfectly.

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  • What separates humans from animals?

 

Intelligence? Language? Weapons?

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How did we ever become so smart as to be able to share philosophical ideas about religion and fulfillment?

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Nature doesn’t require it. In fact, religion might tell us to work against nature (by fasting, spending time alone for prayer, pursuing monogamous relationships, etc.).

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Are we simply “too smart for our own good”, or were we created as the only species with such free will on purpose?

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DOES GOD PERFORM MIRACLES?

Key miracles include:

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  • The Resurrection

  • Eucharistic miracles

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The Resurrection

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Christ’s resurrection was a miraculous ending to a miraculous life.

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If Christ's tomb wasn't actually found empty, then Christianity is the greatest lie in history.

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The Romans and Jews were fed up with the disciples preaching the message of the risen Jesus. Surely they would have loved to crush this movement of unruly fishermen by simply going to Jesus’ tomb, pulling out the body, and exposing the disciples as liars. However, the body of Jesus was nowhere to be found!

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  • Why is it important that women discovered the empty tomb?

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Back then, women were seen as intellectually and morally deficient and therefore not credible witnesses.

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If Gospel writers would have wanted to substantiate their message, they could have listed Peter and John or some other prominent disciple as the first witness. But the writers were intent on recounting the story as truthfully as possible.

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Embarrassment is one standard that historians use to gauge the validity of a recorded event. If an author chooses to include an embarrassing fact that may hurt his case, then it is unlikely that he is making up his story.

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  • How did Jewish leaders respond?

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Jewish leaders paid the Roman soldiers a large sum of money to spread word that the disciples came during the night and stole Jesus’s body while the soldiers were asleep.

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“The soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day” (Matthew 28:15).

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However, it is NOT likely that anyone stole the body!

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  • Why is it not likely that anyone stole the body?

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There were numerous highly-trained Roman soldiers guarding the tomb. These soldiers were experts in torture and combat. They wouldn’t be easily frightened off by a band of fishermen and tax collectors.

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The Roman seal of the tomb had to be broken. Break the seal, you break the law; break the law, you die. This seal represented the full power and authority of the Roman empire. Anyone seeking to steal Jesus’s body would have been very aware that in doing so, they were taking on Rome. Would Jesus’s disciples have dared to do so? No way! They were confused and afraid, and most were in hiding. Even Peter, who swore he’d be willing to die for Jesus, denied knowing Him three times before the crucifixion.

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The tomb had a massive stone in front of it. Most scholars put the weight of the stone at 2 tons (4,000 pounds). This was definitely a “team lift” (or “team roll”), not moveable by just one or two men.

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Simon Greenleaf (scholar/ founder of Harvard Law School) pointed out the importance of the remaining grave clothes in the tomb. John Chapter 20 gives a detailed account of the exact arrangement of the clothes. They weren’t just lying anywhere on the ground; they were lying precisely as the body had lain in them. As the body of Jesus was originally wrapped in cloth, Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea poured 75 pounds of myrrh and spices into the wrappings (John 19:39-40). This liquid would have solidified and formed an encrusted cocoon around the body. Thus, it would have been difficult to slit open the bindings to remove the body and arrange the clothes in the precise, original position.

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Over a span of six weeks after His resurrection, Jesus appeared to a variety of groups of various sizes in different locations. He appeared to over 500 people at one point (a huge number to be an outright fabrication). The people He appeared to didn’t just see Him, but ate with Him, walked with Him, touched Him. Jesus even made breakfast (John 21:9) at one point!

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Following the resurrection, tens of thousands of Jews (almost overnight) abandoned the centuries-old tradition of celebrating the Sabbath on the last day of the week and began worshipping on the first day of the week — the day the Lord beat death and sealed the new and final covenant with God.

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People believed in the resurrection so much that they were willing to give up their lives for Him. Would people leave their businesses, homes, and families (and go to the ends of the earth, die horribly gruesome and painful deaths) all to protect a lie?

 

Not one apostle (while being beheaded, fed to lions, boiled in oil, crucified upside-down, or burned alive) changed their story!

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Eucharistic Miracles

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It can sound strange that bread and wine can transform into the body and blood of Christ at Mass. Usually, we don’t see any visible changes during the transubstantiation process. But there have been numerous occurrences where the visible appearance changed! Occurrences that have been verified by scientific investigation are deemed “Eucharistic miracles“.

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The scientific conclusions across miracles match up with one another.

Here are some common results:

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  1. The flesh is living, distressed heart tissue.

  2. The blood has live cells (as if it was taken from a fresh cut).

  3. The blood is of type AB (the rarest type).

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Here’s a well-documented website from Blessed Carlo Acutis:

 

CARLO ACUTIS’S WEBSITE

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Here’s a YouTube video that covers the scientific analysis of 3 of the most well-known Eucharistic miracles:

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https://youtu.be/soCkftBBsBo

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IS GOD GOOD?

There once was this tragic case where a man was changing his newborn baby’s diaper on a high table and turned his back for just a second. During that time, the baby rolled off the table and died.

People tried to comfort that man by saying, “This is part of God’s plan. Don’t worry because God’s in control of everything.” But that’s not completely true!

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While God is intimately involved with everything, He is NOT in control of everything. The moment that God gifted humans with free will in a world where He’s not a tyrant, he voluntarily gave up a degree of power.

 

We need to make a distinction between God’s PERFCT will and His PERMISSIVE will.

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  • God's PERFECT will: Essence of His goodness (like truth, wisdom, patience, charity, and beauty).

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  • God's PERMISSIVE will: Not “Plan A” (because He doesn’t want bad things to happen), but He allows them to happen (knowing that even the worst evil can’t thwart His ultimate plan).

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God allowed Jesus to be crucified (because it brought about the greater good of our salvation). Similarly, He can restore our broken hearts (from accidents, violence, and disease) and make them whole again.

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When something breaks, our Western mind says to throw it away. But there’s an old Japanese practice that turns broken items into works of art. They do this by fusing broken pieces of cups, plates, bowls, etc. with gold. Similarly, God never abandons us, despite our brokenness. He fills us with His grace to create a unique masterpiece!

 

 

Suffering can tear some people apart. Or it can strengthen them and bring them closer.

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  • It’s possible to feel closer to your classmates when you have the similar struggles of exams and coursework.

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  • During Navy SEALS training, candidates get pushed past their mental and physical limits. By the end, the SEALS who’ve shared all that misery are willing to die for each other.

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  • Also consider how struggle is necessary for the development of an emperor moth. Once upon a time there was a man who came across an emperor moth’s cocoon. Day after day, he noticed that the moth was “struggling” to get out. He saw a tiny hole at the top of the cocoon, so he decided to “assist” the moth. He took a pair of scissors and widened the opening. He thought he was helping the moth so that it could get out easier. Unfortunately, what ended up happening was that when the moth got out of its cocoon, its wings were underdeveloped so it was unable to fly. Even though the man was trying to do something out of the kindness of his heart, he failed to see how the moth’s struggle was ultimately good for it. Similarly, we shouldn’t always look to take the “easy way out”.

 

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Don’t pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to get through a difficult one.

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“Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5: 3-4)

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Luckily, our struggles pale in comparison to what Jesus went through.

 

He was poor. He was disrespected. He endured the death of his foster father, Joseph. He was rejected. He was betrayed. And ultimately, he was tortured and executed for a crime he didn’t commit.

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DID JESUS EXIST?

Most scholars (whether they're religious or not) admit that Jesus DID exist.

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Because of this, everyone uses the B.C./A.D. timeline.

WAS JESUS WHO HE SAID HE WAS?

Every other religion is based on someone who supposedly received a revelation from God. Christianity is different because its founder (Jesus) actually claimed to be God in the flesh.

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It's easier to believe in the resurrection that it is to believe that a group of 12 uneducated guys (and other martyrs) brutally died to protect a lie.

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Jesus was either a liar, a lunatic, or the Lord:

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  • LIAR: All pathological liars are narcissistic and uncompassionate. Jesus, on the other hand, was the very definition of selflessness. He didn’t change his story when faced with brutal harassment and torture.

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  • LUNATIC: Sanity is measured by the degree to which one’s perception conforms to reality. If Fr. Mike stated “I am a priest”, he would clearly be correct. If Fr. Mike claimed “I am the best priest in the world”, that would be a stretch. If Fr. Mike exclaimed “Hola! I am Pope Francis” (and believed it), people would run away.

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  • THE LORD:  Instead of claiming to be just another prophet, Jesus said that he was the all-powerful God. People’s natural response to this is to say: “Prove it!” Sure enough, everyone who met Jesus was blown away by his wisdom and miracles.

WHY BE CATHOLIC (AND NOT JUST CHRISTIAN)?

Archbishop Fulton Sheen once wrote: “There are not over a hundred people in the United States who hate the Roman Catholic Church; there are millions, however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church.”

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Some people might say, “Catholicism is just a bunch of rules and rituals… It’s boring… It needs to get with the times.”

 

British author G. K. Chesterton said, “Catholic doctrine and discipline may be walls. But they are the walls of a playground.“ All the doctrines and disciplines are there to protect you. Can you imagine if everyone had to discover for themselves not to run into traffic? Ouch. The rules also help people live the fullest life possible. If there were no rules for playing badminton (and it was just total chaos), it wouldn’t be fun anymore. So learn the reasons why the walls were put in place before you try to take them down!

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Here are 3 reasons to be Catholic:

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  1. The Catholic Church was founded by Jesus Himself.

  2. The Catholic Church fully celebrates the Eucharist.

  3. The Catholic Church worships a reality rather than an experience.

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THE CATHOLIC CHURCH WAS FOUNDED BY JESUS.

 

Imagine that a long time ago, there was a master ship builder that built a massive ship. He had a captain that assembled and trained a crew. Because they wanted as many passengers as possible, they basically said: “Everyone, on the ship!”

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The master ship builder and the captain outfitted the ship with everything that it needed for its journey:

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  • A destination

  • Maps and compasses

  • Water and food

  • Medicine

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When the ship was being set off to sail, the captain said, “I’m not coming with you. So the first mate that I selected is in charge in my stead.”

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After many years, the first mate dies. And they have to replace him. And the crew dies, so they have to replace the crew. Passengers died, so more and more passengers had to be replaced.

Sometimes the first mate was awesome, sometimes the crew was great. Sometimes the first mate was not great, sometimes the crew was not awesome. Sometimes the passengers weren’t great.

But all the while, the ship stayed on course.

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Later on, some people became discouraged and despondent. They didn’t like the crew, didn’t like how the first mate was running the ship, didn’t like the other passengers. So these people said, “I’m going to build my own ship.” They’re in the middle of the ocean, and they want to build their own ship. Where are they going to get materials for their own ship? From the first ship! They take some of the maps, some of the compasses, maybe some of the water (but not the food). They took what they liked and left what they didn’t like.

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Over the course of time, more and more people say, “I want to build my own ship!” Now, if you look now at the ocean, there is this fleet of ships.

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There’s now:

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  • The principal ship that the master ship builder and the captain crafted and established themselves.

  • Similar-looking ships next to it.

  • Far-away ships that have started to drift.

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Similarly, in 33 A.D., God the Father sent his Son (Jesus Christ, the Captain) to found the Catholic Church. Jesus assembled the crew (the apostles), a first mate, (Peter, as the first pope), and many passengers (disciples that believed in the Church’s mission). And he equipped it. Jesus gave us the sacraments. And the Church gave us the Scriptures. Its leadership has been carried on by an UNBROKEN lineage.

 

  • When Christians started their own smaller Churches, where did they get the Bible? From the Catholic Church.

  • Where did they get the doctrine of the incarnation of Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man? From the Catholic Church.

  • Where did they get the doctrine of the Trinity? From the Catholic Church.

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THE CATHOLIC CHURCH FULLY CELEBRATES THE EUCHARIST

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Protestant Churches might periodically do “communion” with grape-flavored Kool-Aid and store-bought bread. But this practice degrades the sacrament into mere symbols. Only the Catholic Church fully celebrates the Eucharist for what it is!

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As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “In the divine sacrifice which is celebrated in the Mass, the same Christ who offered himself once in a bloody manner on the altar of the cross is contained and offered in an unbloody manner” (CCC 1367; CCC 1362-72)”.

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As the modern expression goes, “we become what we eat“. By regularly receiving the Eucharist (with appropriate respect to the Real Presence), we can become more and more like Jesus.

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When Father Mike was growing up, he and his siblings would ask their mom what she wanted for her birthday. Their mom said it would be great if they could rake the leaves, clean the house, or go through the whole day without fighting with each other. But instead, each sibling followed their own ideas of what to do.

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  • Father Mike’s sisters borrowed money and the car to go to the mall and buy a present for their mom.

  • Father Mike and his older brother rode their BMX bikes all over the neighborhood all day. At the end of the day, they called their mom out onto the lawn and say, “Here is a trick that we learned for you!”

  • Father Mike’s little brother liked to draw, so he colored a picture for their mom.

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Their mom accepted the gifts with a smile. But deep down, they knew that she knew that they didn’t give her what she wanted. She asked for something, and they didn’t give it to her. The gifts weren’t for her. The gifts were for themselves.

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Each person got to do what they wanted.

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  • Father Mike’s sisters got to go shopping.

  • Father Mike and his older brother go to ride their BMX bikes.

  • Father Mike’s little brother got to draw.

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Likewise, worship is not about what we get out of it.

Worship is completely about what we can give to God while doing what he asks us. Being moved through music can be nice, but it shouldn’t be a substitute for receiving God’s Word and Jesus’s very self. Even if you feel like you’re not getting anything out of going to Mass, you are worshipping a reality rather than an experience.

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HOW CAN WE USE OUR GIFTS?

Having problems is not a problem. Having problems with having problems -- that’s the problem.

 

Think of a ship. It can brace itself for waves, and go up and down for 100 years without a problem. If it just sat on a dock the whole time, that would be a huge waste.

 

We often look up to the great works of saints, but we forget that they were unbalanced and imperfect and had many failures and gave up on projects.

 

When we get to Heaven, imagine what your answer to God would be when He asks you what you did with all the gifts He gave you. Hopefully your answer isn’t, “Oh, I was hiding in a pile of dirt since I was too scared to do anything.”

 

If you don’t take risks, you already lost it all.

 

We need Catholics to climb the business ladder and enter positions of power so that they can give fair wages, set fair prices, speak with dignity, inspire others, and promote a good culture. And it would be great if Catholics are wealthy since there’s no better group of people to trust with wealth to use for the right reasons. Money itself isn’t evil, but rather the love of it. Even if we can’t be overtly religious at our workplaces, we can be loving to others and speak with dignity (rather than cursing or spreading gossip).

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Look for ways to give back (no matter how small), such as volunteering at an animal shelter.

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THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

Q: What came first: The Church or the Bible?

A: The Church!

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It took awhile for the Gospel writing to get compiled because at first, everything was communicated orally. Few people were literate, so you couldn’t just go to the Jerusalem Kinkos and place an order for 500 copies of the Gospel of Mark. Instead, people learned how to live through the tradition of the Church. Later, the leaders of the Church discerned which books made the cut.

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Jesus appointed Peter as the first Pope in a way that had a lot of historic significance…

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Abraham had a son Isaac who had a son Jacob. God changed Jacob’s name to Israel. Jacob/Israel had 12 sons. The names of these 12 sons became the names of the 12 tribes.

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King David (the “Anointed One”) ruled over all 12 tribes as one “royal kingdom”

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Under the ruling of a later king, the 12 tribes split into two groups:

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  • Tribes in the north

  • Tribes in the south

 

Assyria then destroyed the tribes in the north, leaving only the tribes of Judah and Benjamin.

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When Jesus entered the scene, He didn’t just come to save us. He also came to re-establish the kingdom! Now Jesus is the “Anointed One“/ the Messiah/ the Christos. He begins his public ministry in the north in the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali (the first two tribes that got obliterated). He calls people to follow Him (namely Andrew and Simon, then James and John, etc.). How many people does he call? Twelve!

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Matthew’s Gospel emphasizes Jesus’ lineage to King David.

In Matthew 16:17-19, Jesus establishes His new kingdom by:

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  • Renaming Simon to “Peter” (meaning “Rock”)

  • Pledging to build His Church upon Peter

  • Handing Peter the “keys to the kingdom”

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In Isaiah 22:20-22, Hezekiah (the royal heir to David’s throne and King of Israel) replaced his old Prime Minister (Shebna) with a new one (Eliakim). Everyone could tell who the new Prime Minister was since he was given the “keys to the kingdom“.

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So when Jesus entrusted the “keys to the kingdom” to Peter, Jesus was establishing the office of Prime Minister for administering the Church as His kingdom on Earth. The “keys” are therefore a symbol of Peter’s office, and his position is to be handed off each generation.

Similar to how the Prime Minister had the authority to rule when the king was away, Jesus gave Peter the authority to rule the Church when He went away!

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Many of the Popes in the first 250 years of Christianity died as martyrs.

Peter was crucified upside-down in Rome between 64 and 67 AD. He was buried where the Vatican now stands. St. Linus followed Peter as Pope, and another after him, and another after him right up to today.

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FUN FACT: We can trace this unbroken succession of Popes!

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The authority of the Catholic Church was established by Jesus when he appointed Peter as the first Pope. Today, the Pope is in charge of all the other Church leaders (from Deacons to Priests to Bishops to Archbishops to Cardinals).

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Because people aren’t perfect, authority figures might still make mistakes.

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Roman Emperors didn’t have their morals straight when they persecuted Christians (even though the emperors were doing what they thought was right). In response, Christians weren’t called to denounce the emperor and act violently like criminals. Rather, Christians were called to have civil disobedience while still standing by their morals: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing” (1 Peter 3:9).

 

In recent times, Catholic clergymen have been convicted of abuse. It was important for the victims to speak the truth so that justice could be served, but such scandals shouldn’t cause people to lose faith in the system as a whole.

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The Church’s teachings (or “doctrine”) can be divided into two categories:

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  • DOGMAS: Principles that don’t really change over time.

  • DISCIPLINES: Principles that may develop and look different over time but will never contradict itself.

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Cardinal John Henry Newman clarified that the development of doctrine must be organic. An oak tree looks very different from an acorn, even though that is how it started out. Similarly, the Apostles’ Creed is like an acorn that developed into the Bible, which developed to where we are now.

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For centuries, the Church taught that Christians should not eat meat on Fridays. Why? It comes from the doctrine that Friday is the day in which our Lord suffered and died. We’re called to unite our sufferings to Jesus’ suffering on this particular day. Part of fasting means that we’re going to avoid things associated with feasting (like meat).

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Fast-forward to the 1960s, when the Church acknowledged that our culture has changed. There’s a whole group of people (vegetarians) that never eat meat! How is not eating meat on Friday anything special for them? Also, you could go to McDonald’s and pick up a hamburger for a dollar (cheaper than you get a salad). So meat is no longer always associated with feasting!

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Therefore, Pope Paul VI said, “I’m going to change the discipline from ‘not eating meat on Fridays’ to ‘choose some sort of suitable penance for yourself.'”

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Some people now say, “When I was a kid growing up, it was a sin to eat meat on Fridays. But now suddenly you can do whatever?! That’s crazy! I can’t believe the Church is changing the rules like that!”

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But due to the changing culture, the discipline developed to still effectively reach everyone’s hearts, enlighten our minds, and transform our lives.

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Why do we rest on Sundays?

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When we were little, some of us didn’t want to lay down for nap time. But many grown-ups wish they themselves could have nap-time back. What is it that drives us to keep pushing ourselves until we wear ourselves out?

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Going to sleep means admitting that our chances to have gotten everything that we wanted to get done that day are over. And we’re surrounded by a culture that tells us we need to get ahead by earning as much money as we can, making as many friendships as we can, and getting as much stuff as we can. One generation ago, it used to be a general rule that businesses weren’t open on Sundays. It was like Chick-fil-a everywhere.

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Some people would still “work” in their garden or “work” on their toolshed (which are more recreational activities).

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And there were some cases where the “Law of Love” triumphed the “Law of Rest”:

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  • Firefighters and nurses would still tend to people in emergencies.

  • Mothers would still tend to their children.

  • Husbands would still work if they absolutely had to in order to provide for the bare minimum requirements for their families.

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If you have to do something on Sunday specifically (like study for a big test on Monday), try to have designated hours where you do that and other hours where you can enjoy God’s creation and your freedom.

Our freedom on Sundays is a reward for not being slaves anymore.

So it’s in our best interest to “keep holy the Sabbath day” by going to Church and resting on Sundays.

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Here are the absolute MINIMUM requirements for being a “practicing Catholic”. (Without meeting them, you cannot receive Holy Communion.)

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  • Go to Mass on Sundays AND holy days of obligation. There’s only about 65 hours of required Church time for an entire year!

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  • Go to confession at least once a year. But go as often as necessary, depending on how often you commit mortal sins!

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  • Receive Holy communion at least once every year during the Easter season. Some people used to feel so unworthy of the Eucharist that they never went up to receive it. But Jesus wants intimacy with us, so in order to sustain the life inside of us, we need to partake in communion at least once a year (during the Church’s biggest season).

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  • Observe days of penance and fasting. 

    • Days of penance are every Friday throughout the year.

    • Days of avoiding meat are Fridays throughout Lent plus Ash Wednesday.

    • Days of fasting are Good Friday and Ash Wednesday. On these two days, “fasting” consists of two small meals and one regular-sized meal (which doesn’t exceed the size of the two small meals combined). This amount of food could still be more than what some people in third-world countries eat on a normal day!

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  • Provide for the material needs of the church (according to your ability). You don’t have to give 10% of your income. Just do whatever you can do to help the Church out.​

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What can the Church learn from Crossfit?

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CrossFit gyms attract a large range of people, no matter if they:

  • Have never been to a gym before

  • Are high school athletes

  • Are professional Olympians

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The Church likewise wants to welcome everyone, no matter their skill level or stage in life. What makes CrossFit gyms so successful that Churches can learn from?

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  • In some gyms, everyone is known. If someone’s not there, they’re missed. The first time Father Mike walked into a CrossFit gym, this guy walked in and the coach said, “Hey Alec! I haven’t seen you in awhile!” One reason why people stop going to Mass is because it seemed like no one would notice. No one goes up to them and asks, “Hey, how are things going? You should come back!”

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  • It has clear functional value. The weights you lift will help you lift your child, carry your groceries, etc. There tends to be a disconnect between what people do in Church and what they do in real life.

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  • Gyms tend to scale the prescribed workouts to your capabilities. You won’t be asked to lift 300 pounds if you can only lift 30. If you can’t pray the rosary, figure out what you can do and go from there.

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  • Gyms like to challenge you. And people like to see results in how their fitness improves. At Church, people tend to just go through the motions without pushing themselves to grow and get to the next step.

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  • People are willing to be led, and coaches are willing to teach. At Church, some people are reluctant to ask for help when they need it, or they don’t go out of their way to help others.

SACRAMENTS

Sacraments are “efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church” (CCC, Part 2, Section 1, Chapter 1, Article 2, v1131).

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Simply being dunked in water or eating bread and drinking wine by themselves don’t do anything significant. But when sacraments are properly administered and received, the Holy Spirit can work through them to nourish people’s faith.

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The types of sacraments are:

  • Sacraments of Initiation (Baptism, Confirmation, and the Eucharist)

  • Sacraments of Healing (Reconciliation and Anointing of the Sick)

  • Sacraments of Vocation (Matrimony and Holy Orders)

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BAPTISM

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While technically not a requirement to get into heaven, baptism is a great way for people to publicly announce that they are accepting the Lord, cleansing themselves of their transgressions, and washing away their old identity.

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So why do Catholics baptize babies when they are way too young to have committed sins that need to be washed away?

 

Scripture tells us that the faith of a parent qualifies a child to be baptized and raised as a child of Jesus. Later, the child completes their initiation in the sacrament of confirmation. It’s a time when people make a personal testimony and commitment to Christ on their own behalf.

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CONFESSION

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There’s a reason why we have a St. Peter and not a St. Judas. Both of them gravely sinned against the Lord, but they reacted different when they realized the magnitude of their wrongdoings.

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  • Peter denied Jesus three times, but he repented, learned from his mistake, and let God’s mercy fuel him to found the Catholic Church.

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  • Judas betrayed Jesus by delivering him to crucifixion, and he let his mistake consume him (see Matthew 27: 1-10).

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But isn’t it easier to confess sins directly to God instead of going to confession? You don’t have to leave the house or even put on pants!

 

Nothing stops anyone from communicating directly with God, but there is value in speaking to another human being. Taking this time to go to confession is a sign of true repentance and maturity, and you can receive useful guidance.

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Luckily, odds are that the priest has already heard it all, and they tend to be very gracious while offering their assistance. They’re NOT going to go “Oh you did that?! How could you? You’re an awful human being!”

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Before going to confession, it’s helpful to go through an Examination of Conscience.

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You cannot receive the Eucharist if you have mortal sins that you haven’t gone to confession for (if you had the opportunity to go to confession between committing the sin and attending Mass). Otherwise, think of how wrong it would be to be intimate with someone you’re in a fight with/ not reconciled with. Through communion with the Eucharist, we are reconciled of venial sins (so we don’t need to confess those during confession). See CCC 1394.

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There are three requirements for a sin to be mortal:

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  • It’s of grave matter.

  • It was committed with full knowledge that it was bad.

  • It was committed freely.

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There are three things required for a Catholic Confession to be valid:

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  • You have to be genuinely sorry for your sins. So, no doing whatever you want and using confession as a get-out-of-jail-free card. Just like in rehab, you have to be genuinely willing to give up your sinful ways in order to successfully recover from your addictions and sins.

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  • You have to confess your sins out loud to a priest in person.

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  • You have to perform whatever penance the priest prescribes. Penance is not a way to earn forgiveness, but rather it’s an opportunity to pause a moment to consider the seriousness of sin and to accept the mercy of God, who forgives and transforms.

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Because God is willing to forgive us, remember that we must be willing to forgive others.

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“Whose sins you forgive are forgiven, and whose sins you retain are retained” (John 20:23).

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THE BIBLE

The Bible is a complicated book.

​

It was written by different authors in different time periods who wrote to different groups of people in different genres and in different languages (Hebrew, Greek, Latin, and Aramaic)!

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 The leaders of the Church discerned which books made the cut.

The Catholic Bible is still the unedited Director’s Cut 73 books with all the special features. Protestants use the edited 66 book version.

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The genres include:

  • NARRATIVE: Samuel, Kings, Chronicles, Ezra, Maccabees

  • LAW: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy

  • POETRY: Psalms, Job, Wisdom, Sirach, Lamentations

  • PROPHECY: Isaiah, Jeremiah, Baruch, Hosea, Malachi

  • FABLE: Jonah, Tobit

  • ALLEGORY: Song of Solomon

  • PARABLE: The Good Samaritan, the Lost Sheep, the Prodigal Son

  • ROMANCE: Ruth and Boaz, Jacob and Rachel

  • APOCALYPTIC: Ezekiel, Daniel, Revelation

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As you get older, you might view the Bible through a different lens.

  1. Children bedtime stories

  2. A compilation of inspirational quotes

  3. A book of answers

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The Bible can be difficult to interpret. But everything in it contains some kind of truth.

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Who wrote the Gospel of Matthew?

 

Both Matthew and the Holy Spirit are true authors of Sacred Scripture.

Just like Jesus, Scripture is both fully human and fully divine.

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  • We might have this image of Matthew sitting and writing his Gospel and an angel whispering into his ear: “Hey. Write this down…” And Matthew’s like, “Oh. That’s really good. I’ll keep doing that!”

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  • Or we have this idea that maybe God overwhelmed Matthew so that he went into this trance state and started scribbling out the Gospel of Matthew.

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But that’s not what happened! Matthew wrote the Gospel of Matthew as Matt. As a Jewish man who spent a number of years as a tax collector and a number of years living with Jesus. To a particular group of people, he wrote with his style of writing, his knowledge, and his lack of knowledge.

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“God inspired the human authors of the sacred books. ‘To compose the sacred books, God chose certain men who, all the while he employed them in this task, made full use of their own faculties and powers so that, though he acted in them and by them, it was as true authors that they consigned to writing whatever he wanted written, no more’’” (Part One, Article 3, II, p106, pgs 36-37).

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You don’t pick up a geometry book and say, “This is the worst poetry ever! It doesn’t even rhyme!” The information in it is still truth, but you just have to know how to read it in context.

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We use our brains when we read the Scriptures, because someone used their brain when they wrote it.

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If God inspired all the Gospels, why are there discrepancies between them?

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For example, Matthew said that Jesus preached His famous sermon on a mountain, but Luke says it was on a plain.

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Each writer has their own background, goals, knowledge, and lack of knowledge. So each gospel contributes a valuable perspective.

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You need each perspective for a more complete picture.

 

  • If you take four painters to the Eiffel Tower and tell them to paint what they see, you’ll get four different impressions and four different styles. One might include details that others missed or captured a different quality of lighting or portrayed a different mood. If you want to understand the Eiffel Tower, the next best thing to going to Paris yourself is looking at as many different paintings as you can (or at least four).

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  • Or imagine that a group of blind men are trying to understand what an elephant is:

    • The one touching the trunk thinks its a snake.

    • The one touching an ear thinks its a fan.

    • The one touching the tail thinks its a rope.

    • The one touching a leg thinks its a pillar.

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Matthew, Mark, and Luke are called the Synoptic Gospels (from the Greek for “seen together”). They’re similar to each other and drew on a lot of common source material.

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  • Matthew‘s Gospel was aimed at early Jewish audiences. It was written to answer questions about Jesus from a Jewish point of view. So it stresses how Jesus fulfilled the promises of the Hebrew Scripture. What we call the Old Testament was the only Testament back then. “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.”

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  • Mark was the first Gospel to be written and focuses on the suffering of Jesus. Mark shows us how, through Jesus, God shares our pain and carries us through it. Mark also shows how even good people really struggled to realize who Jesus is and what His message was. “For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

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  • Luke‘s Gospel is written more to non-Jews who were hearing the good news about Jesus, but without having a background in Hebrew scripture. Luke focuses on ideas like mercy, justice and compassion for the poor. “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor.”

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And then there's John...

  • John is the most philosophical of the four Gospels. Instead of focusing on the this happened then that happened narrative of events, John emphasizes the spiritual significance in Jesus. But there’s another side to John, too. In the Bible accounts, he’s often called the Disciple Jesus loved, Apostle and best friend of Jesus. Best friends often know a lot about us and that’s how it is in John’s Gospel, which shows us a deeply human, personal side of Jesus, while also describing Jesus as the divine pattern of all creative things. For example, the intimate moment John reveals in chapter 11, verse 35 (which by the way is the shortest verse of all 31,173 verses in the Bible), “And Jesus wept.” Fully human, Jesus weeps when He sees his friend Lazarus in the grave. Fully divine, Jesus will raise him from the dead. So, John knows his friend Jesus well, the foster son of Joseph, the son of Mary, the son of David, the Son of Man, the Son of God.

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Why does the God in the Old Testament seem so much more harsh, judgmental, and justice-oriented? Why does the God of the New Testament seem so much more kind, gentle, and merciful?

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Take a closer look at the Bible.

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  • While the Old Testament God clearly communicates that there’s a consequence for choosing right and a consequence for choosing wrong, he also reveals his heart to be loving (although long-suffering). His people repeatedly turn away from Him, but He is patient and forgiving.

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  • In the New Testament, Jesus also clearly establishes the eternal consequences for choosing right or wrong, but he says so while appearing in a more relatable form.

 

God’s character is the only thing that never changes. Even though people can change, consider the analogy of parents.

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  • When Father Mike was growing up, he and his siblings (and his friends) thought that his parents were super strict. His parents had to reveal themselves to be deeply interested in justice and deeply interested in doing the right thing in order to clearly get their point across.

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  • When everyone got older, Father Mike viewed his parents as more relatable, hard-working, and funny. They were still the same people, but he realized how much patience they had when dealing with trouble-making kids, how hard they worked to provide food and shelter, and how awesome all their other positive characteristics were.

SAINTS

Saints are sinners who keep trying.

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Good news! As Mark Hart said, “God made saints out of far worse people than you.”

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The Church is not meant to just be a museum of saints, but rather a hospital for sinners.

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You can almost definitely find a Saint who went through the same struggles that you’re current facing (whether it’s grief, addiction, or money problems).

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Or you can find a Saint who inspires you! For example, Saint Philip Neri used to walk through town with half his beard shaved, just to start a conversation.

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Imagine that you’re competing in a race. The stands are full of former medalists, cheering you on. They can’t run for you or carry you, but they can support you. In a similar way, the Saints can support us!

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We honor the Saints (since they are reminders of how God can turn broken lives into extraordinary ones), but we only worship God alone.

When someone shares their testimony, we don’t say, “Sit down! Stop talking about yourself! Only talk about God.” They would say, “No! I’m just sharing what God did in my life.”

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Similarly, when we go to an art gallery, if we compliment a painting, we’re actually complimenting the artist.

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MARY

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Catholics do NOT worship Mary. We just give her the respect she deserves.

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If you’re dating someone, you can learn more about them by getting to know their parents (i.e., the people who they love and who loves them). If you enjoy spending a day fishing with their dad, does this mean you love your partner less? No! The parents can actually help open your heart to loving your partner more by giving you a fuller picture!

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Just because Mary was without original sin doesn’t mean she had an easy life. Oftentimes taking the righteous path can be a difficult and lonely decision. And even though Mary only had one biological Son who was perfect, she also has a lot of “adopted”, more difficult children (us). And just like what she told the servants at the wedding of Cana, she tells us to do everything Jesus tells us.

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ST. IRENAEUS

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Saint Irenaeus of Lyons was a bishop whose teaching was two links away from the teaching of Jesus.

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Jesus taught John > John taught Polycarp > Polycarp taught Irenaeus.

 

One of his most well-known quotes is: “The glory of God is man fully alive.”

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Irenaeus wrote Against Heresies, defending Christian theologies against Gnostic heresies. The proponents of such heresies believed that they were more “enlightened” than ordinary Christians due to their supposedly secret knowledge (or “gnosis”). Similar to how the Gnostics had distorted beliefs, we must beware of other sources of heresy (such as The Shack). 

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The Shack tells an emotional story about inner-healing and forgiveness. But it is also littered with heresy! Let’s take a look at a few examples…

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  • GOD IS PORTRAYED AS AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN. To be consistent with Biblical language, if God has to be portrayed as a human, it should be by a fatherly figure. But to be even more accurate, God should not be directly visible by anyone on Earth (Exodus 33:20, John 1:18, 1 John 4:12, John 6:46).

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  • GOD IS PORTAYED AS HAVING BEEN CRUCIFIED ALONG WITH JESUS. There’s a scene where “Papa” shows Mackenzie her scars from being crucified. Paul Young (the author of The Shack) made clear in a radio interview that “The Father was in the son when the son hung on the cross… He went through the crucifixion in the son.” But only Jesus was crucified. The Bible makes it clear that Jesus and God are two distinct persons (and while Jesus was on Earth, God stayed in heaven). See Matthew 3:17, 6:9, 7:11, 10:32, 12:50, 18:14, 18:19, etc. The belief that there is only one person in the trinity (as Paul Young believes) is the heresy known as “patripassianism”.

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  • GOD IS PORTRAYED AS REFUSING TO PUNISH SINS. Mackenzie asks Papa, “What about your wrath?… Aren’t you the One spilling out great bowls of wrath and throwing people into a burning lack of fire?” Papa responds, “I am not who you think I am Mackenzie. I don’t need to punish people for sin. Sin is its own punishment, devouring from the inside. It is not my purpose to punish; it is my joy to cure it.” In another scene, Mackenzie gets a glimpse of “judgment day”. He realizes that he can’t judge his father for abusing him when he was little (since his grandpa abused his father when his father was little, and so on). Mackenzie decides that the “legacy of brokenness goes all the way back to Adam”, so we are supposedly all acquitted on the grounds of brokenness. Mackenzie instead blames God for our sins. Then Mackenzie is asked to choose which of his two children to send to hell: His daughter (who shuts him out and says hurtful things to him) or his son (who is disobedient, sneaks out, and lies). Mackenzie can’t choose between them, so out of love, he offers for himself to go instead. He is told that likewise, God can’t choose which of his children to send to hell, so he doesn’t send anyone there. However, the Bible is very clear that God indeed does punish sin (Genesis 4:3, Genesis 19:15, Ezekiel 7:8, Isaiah 13:11, Isaiah 26:21, Jeremiah 21:14, Matthew 25:46, Luke 12:5, Luke 16:23, Romans 2:16, 2 Timothy 4:1-3, 2 Thessalonians 1:9, Revelation 19:15). Even though God is loving and merciful, in order for Him to be moral and just, He cannot turn a blind eye to our sins.

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  • JESUS IS PORTRAYED AS BEING COMPLETELY FINE IF PEOPLE DON’T ACTIVELY PURSUE CHRISTIANITY. Jesus tells Mackenzie that it’s ok if you don’t label yourself as “Christian” since after all, “religion is too much work“. This attitude doesn’t give God the worship and reverence that He deserves!

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ST. THOMAS MORE

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The St. Thomas More Newman Center on OSU’s campus is named after a courageous man.

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King Henry VIII asked various authority figures to sign the Act of Supremacy (which would make him the head of the Church of England) and the Act of Succession (which would establish Anne Boleyn as his lawful wife and their children as his heirs to the throne). Thomas refused to sign the oaths since he did not believe them to be right. The king accused Thomas of treason and punished him to death. But because Thomas was known to be an extremely honest and moral man, his bravery sent a loud message.

SIN

As Father Mike says, sin is when we say, “I know I shouldn’t do this, but I don’t care.”

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As Mark Hart said, “Sin is less about breaking the rules than it is about breaking the Father’s heart.”

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Free will allows us to be coworkers with God.

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  • If you’re a parent and you have a thousand chores to do, you could probably do each of them better and faster than your kids (and also save yourself a lot of headaches by doing them yourself).

 

  • If you have a project (like building a tool shed), it’s more meaningful to have more people contribute to it. When it’s done, each person can look back at the tool shed as an accomplishment and a reminder of their hard work.

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  • If a mom wants to bake cookies, she can do so the most perfectly herself. She doesn’t “need” her 6-year-old to be on a stepstool to mix the batter. In fact, having her kid help can cause a greater mess on the counter and a less consistent cookie shape. But to the mom, these cookies are the best ones because she can share the experience with someone she loves.

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We call the driver of evil forces by a few different names:

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  • DEVIL: Derived from the Greek word diabolos, meaning “divider”. He wants to divide people and make them work against each other.

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  • SATAN:  Derived from the Hebrew word for “deceiver” or “accuser”. He tries to instill doubt about the goodness of God or other human beings.

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  • LUCIFER: Derived from the Latin word for “light-bearer”. He was one of the brightest angels before rejecting God.

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How do we face temptation?

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In Greek mythology, the Sirens were two half-bird, half-woman monsters. They lured sailors to their death by singing. When men heard their voices, the Sirens’ appearance changed from ugly to incredibly attractive. So these men threw themselves at this evil that passed itself off as something good.

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Similarly:

  • Gossiping can pass itself off as connection.

  • Lust can pass itself off as love.

  • Greed can pass itself off as security or being owed something.

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There were three sets of people who survived the call of the Sirens:

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  1. ULYSEES (aka Odysseus): Strapped himself to the mast so that he could hear the song but not go towards it. This is like an alcoholic who wants to smell a drink, but brings a friend to make sure he doesn’t drink it. This is the beginning of wisdom, but why expose yourself to the possibility?

  2. ULYSEES’ MEN: Plugged ears with beeswax. We usually have the possibility to just walk away. If you don’t want to gossip, leave the room. If you don’t want to lust, leave the person. If you don’t want to be greedy, leave the shopping mall.

  3. JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS: Focused on Orpheus singing and playing his lyre (i.e., his ancient guitar). Orpheus’ music was truly good and beautiful, so no one left for the cheap imitation.

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As Christians, sometimes we are called to restrict ourselves or walk away from sin. But we are also called to fill our lives with the true, the good, and the beautiful.

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THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS

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  1. The anecdote to PRIDE is HUMILITY. This doesn’t mean that you should just think about how bad you are at everything. True humility means having an honest, realistic sense of your strengths and weaknesses. We should look to grow in our weaknesses while using our strengths to serve others.

  2. The anecdote to ENVY is GRATITUDE. Envy is the one sin that never makes you happy. All the other sins (pride, lust, greed, gluttony, sloth) make you feel better for at least a moment. But envy just leaves you feeling sad and resentful the whole time. Note that it is NOT the same thing as jealousy. Jealousy is like stealing; It’s the desire to have something that you hope to possess. It is rooted in greed, but it drives you to take action because you need that thing. Just like how a wife is jealous when her husband gives his attention to other women, God is jealous when we give our attention to false idols. Envy is like vandalism; It’s the sadness that someone has something that you don’t. It is rooted in resentment (at someone else’s money, accomplishments, gifts, etc.) and drives you to destruction just because you don’t want that person to have that thing.

  3. The anecdote to GREED is GENEROSITY. Money itself is not the root of all evil, but rather the love of it. Money is essential for the functioning and well-being of society. Beyond providing for your basic needs, what do you use your money for? Building a big home for yourself, or building homeless shelters?

  4. The anecdote to ANGER is FORGIVENESS. If you’re bitter about something that can’t be changed (such as what someone did to you in the past), it’s best to let go. But anger can be righteous if it does not involve hatred, violence, or revenge. Righteous anger can lead to positive growth and change when directed toward justice. As an analogy, consider how fire can be both good and bad. Fire can be looked at as a gift for sustaining life. Its heat can warm you and cook food. And its light can help you see through darkness. But when a fire isn’t contained, it can destroy everything in its path.

  5. The anecdote to GLUTTONY is ASCETICISM. Too much of a good thing is never good. Try not to eat out every day (although it’s ok to treat yourself once in awhile). Or focus on using those splurges as chances to establish social connections and memories with friends.

  6. The anecdote to SLOTH is DILIGENCE. Don’t confuse laziness with clinical depression (which is physical and can be treated with medication and therapy). Try finding a mission or a purpose, and pursue it!

  7. The anecdote to LUST is CHASTITY. Many people confuse lust for love. While physical attraction is important for romantic relationships, what’s more important is for the two to have the same values while they encourage each other to grow. Try to say the easy “no” instead of waiting for the hard “no”. For example, say the easy “no” to not go inside your significant others’ house at night instead of waiting for the harder “no” (to retain purity while snuggling on the couch).

PRAYER

Not enough time to pray?​

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As Mark Hart said, “When I get ‘too busy’ to pray, I envision Jesus at the Pearly Gates showing me the time I wasted looking for something to watch on Netflix.”

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Why do we need to pray?

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Prayer isn't about getting God's attention. It's about letting Him have our attention. When we talk to God, we’re giving Him access to our hearts. Even though prayer doesn't necessarily change God’s mind, prayer changes us by reminding us to have trust, humility, and acceptance. And it pushes us to take action.

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​As C.S. Lewis said, if we believed that God’s will would be done regardless of what I do, then we wouldn’t do anything. We would start saying things like, “If God wants me to eat today, He’ll bring food to my door.” Or we’d say when we go outside without an umbrella, “If God doesn’t want me to get wet, He’ll make it rain around me.” Instead, we have to do some things ourselves to cooperate with God’s will (knowing that He will give us everything we need to do so).

DISCERNMENT

Just like how prisoners become institutionalized and don’t know what to do when they’re free, students don’t know what to do when they graduate. It’s hard to know how to live when you’re not living according to someone else’s specific schedule or rubric.

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The Holy Spirit’s job is to push us to be HOLY (even if we’re not HAPPY about it at first).

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When we give the Holy Spirit permission to lead us out of our comfort zones, we might feel like we’re at the top of a rollercoaster.

  • We might be nervous of where we’re going.

  • We might doubt that our seatbelt’s secure.

  • We realize that we are not in control.

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95% of us are control freaks. The other 5% are in self-denial. So when people say they want to be led by the Spirit, they really want a merry-go-round. Something safe, predictable, and comfortable.

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Think about the apostles. When Jesus died and ascended into heaven, they were in a situation that they’ve never been in before. They were trained by God himself for 3 years but didn’t necessarily know what to do in a time of crisis. But they knew that even though they had the freedom to fail, they also had a God with them who would not fail.

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Even though God can’t give us explicit answers to all our questions, there are some strategies we can follow for discerning His will…

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Ask yourself these 3 questions:

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  1. What kind of person does God want me to be?

  2. What obstacles are preventing me from fulfilling that vision?

  3. What is one positive step that I can make today that can move be towards the end goal?

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BEWARE: We can’t always trust our hearts when answering these questions. We tend to favor decisions that feed our desire instead of our overall well-being.

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  • If the person you like keeps coming up in prayer, it could be because you keep bringing him up. It’s good to be attracted to someone who is smart, kind, and generous — those are good qualities to be attracted to. But at the heart of the desire could also just be a longing for companionship, intimacy, comfort, and love.

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  • If you want to sing, do you want to live the lifestyle of a singer (singing every day, constantly traveling, little time with family)? Or would a hobby like church choir be a better fit for you?

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You don’t have to wait for God to reveal what big vocation you should chase after. You can immediately pursue a small, specific virtue to grow in (whether that’s generosity, patience, charity, etc.). Setting goals helps keep you on track for achieving your dreams. But make sure that your goals are S.M.A.R.T.!

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How do we iterate?

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  • ANALOGY 1: DECIDING WHAT TO EAT. Sometimes you ask a friend or a spouse: “Hey, what do you want to eat tonight?” They might respond with, “I don’t care. You choose.” When you suggest Chipotle, they might say that they don’t have a taste for Mexican food. When you suggest pizza, they might say that they just had it for lunch and want something else. At this point, you might feel frustrated. They said that they “didn’t care” when they actually do seem to care. They said that you could choose what you want, but they’re not seeming to let you actually choose. What they more clearly mean to say is, “Give me a list of possibilities of what you want, and from that list, I’ll choose what I want the most.” Whether or not you like this process, it does work. Similarly, you ask God: “Hey, what do you want me to do?” He responds with, “You choose.” If you choose something that doesn’t fully please Him, He could say, “Hmmm, try again.” It would be so much easier if God just clearly commanded, “Do this.” But instead, He allows us to engage in the process of getting closer and closer to what’s best.

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  • ANALOGY 2: SIGHTING IN A GUN. You go to the range and line up the target in the crosshairs. Then you don’t just walk away saying, “Oh, we lined up the target. Who knows if it’s on the right path?” No, you have to pull the trigger. You have to commit to that decision. But then you’re not done. You don’t just walk away saying, “Well, I guess I missed. Stupid, I shouldn’t have done that.” No, that’s the point of sighting in your gun! You pull the trigger so you can see where you need to adjust. And then you pull the trigger again. By the end, you’re all ready for hunting season!

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  • ANALOGY 3: SOLVING ALGEBRA PROBLEMS. In algebra, you may need to “solve for x”. But getting that answer might require first solving for y, z, and w. Solving those other variables first isn’t wasted since they helped lead to solving for x. Similarly, you might not know on the first date if you want to marry that person. You might not know on the first seminary visit if you want to become a priest. But you could gather more data by talking to people and reading books!

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How do we deal with dissatisfaction?

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There’s no perfect path that can make us completely happy and fulfilled for the rest of our lives. There are some people, colleges, majors, and jobs that we might prefer. But there is no perfect relationship or a perfect college with the perfect major that will lead to the perfect job. Or maybe you’re just doing what you need to in order to provide basic needs for you (and maybe your family). Your decisions and actions can help you grow and make the world a better place, but nothing will solve all problems.

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As a Hindu proverb says, “There are hundreds of paths up the mountain, all leading in the same direction, so it doesn’t matter which path you take. The only one wasting time is the one who runs around and around the mountain, telling everyone that his or her path is wrong.”

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According to sociologist Barry Schwartz, there is a “Paradox of Choice“. Even though choices, intellect, and free will are all great things, we hit a certain point where we get “analysis paralysis”. With so many choices out there, we start thinking that there must be a perfect option.

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  • For example, suppose you go to the store that carries three brands of jeans: Lee’s, Wrangler’s, and Levi’s. You buy a pair that fits OK, which is fine since that’s how jeans are. They fit OK. Now suppose you go to the mall, where there are many more options to choose from. You start getting yourself into a frenzy to find the pair of jeans that will optimize your happiness. “OK” is no longer good enough.

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  • In terms of relationships, looking for “The One” is a misunderstanding of what marriage is supposed to be. Marriage is NOT about self-gratification. It’s about self-donation. Who is the one person that unless you meet them, you will not be fulfilled? Jesus. He is your “The One".

TRANSFORMATION

A lot of people who start P90X slack off or give up after just a few days.

They want to be healthier and look more fit, but they don’t want to put in all the work. They don’t go on the recommended diet that supplements each workout. They think that if they work hard enough for one hour in the afternoon, then it doesn’t matter what they do at night. Similarly, some people think that if they go to church on Sunday, then they’re covered for the rest of the week. But becoming spiritually buff takes a lot more than that. To reach our goals, we must intentionally pursue them.

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As the Greek philosopher Archilochus said: “We don’t rise to the level of our expectations; we fall to the level of our training.“.

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Consider the difference between training and working out.

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  • TRAINING: Actively striving towards a goal (e.g., hitting the weights, doing sprints, etc.

  • WORKING OUT: Showing up and putting in effort to go through the motions without a set goal (e.g., going for a bike ride)

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We need to be transformed in the things we think about, the things we choose, and the things we grow to love.

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“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”

–Romans 12:2
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There are two types of attitudes that can determine how much we transform:
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  • A "FIXED" MINDSET: You’ve accepted your current label or skill level at something and you aren’t willing to fully engage in it.

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  • A “GROWTH” MINDSET: You’re willing to make mistakes to get better and learn.

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For example, our test scores can determine what subjects we want to pursue. When Father Mike was in 2nd grade, he was decent in math but excellent in spelling. As he progressed through grade school, those roads diverged more and more for him. He believed more and more that he was only average in math but excellent in English and history. This divergence caused him to be less and less engaged in math and to try harder in the subjects that he thought he was good at.

Even though our test scores can give us a realistic idea of how to make a living, we shouldn’t fall into the trap of thinking that we can’t improve in our weak areas.

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The things that people praise us for can affect our behavior.

 

Two groups of kids were given the same series of tests that progressing in difficulty.

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  • Group A was praised for their score (and thereby, their intelligence). At first these kids thought that they didn’t need to prepare because they were “so smart”. When they started to not know the answers, they got more discouraged and less engaged out of fear of losing their reputation. They were afraid to make mistakes in fear of being judged!

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  • Group B was praised for their effort (and thereby, their work ethic). These kids didn’t get discouraged when they didn’t know the answers. Why? Because they had a strong work ethic! Learning new things was what they were good at! They were willing to fail in order to grow!

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No matter what traits we are born with, we are called to transform into the best versions of ourselves.

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Someone once designed a Christmas card that had a picture of a beautiful (although crooked) Christmas tree on the front with the saying “God loves you just the way you are.” When you opened it up, the inside of the card read, “He just loves you too much to keep you that way.”

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While every person was created in God’s image and likeness (and therefore essentially created “good”), we were not made perfect.

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  • We have a darkened intellect, so we don’t always see things clearly. 

  • We have a weakened will, so we don’t always choose things like we should.

  • Sometimes we can’t agree or get along with others.

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We’re born with “concupiscence”, which means that we’re attracted to evil (or use the right thing in the wrong way). People often justify their brokenness by saying that they were “born this way” and then stop there. If someone is born arrogant, they should work to be humble like Christ.

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No matter how we’ve been wounded in the past, we shouldn’t let that stop us from pursuing a fulfilling future.

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Father Mike once saw a video of a war veteran doing the deadlift. Not only was this man lifting a super impressive amount of weight, he only had one leg! This man could have said, “I’ll never be fully healed of my weakness, so why even try to become an athlete?” This pessimistic attitude would have prevented him from getting stronger and living up to his potential.

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If someone’s been atheist, Jewish, Muslim, etc., converting to Catholicism can be intimidating for them.

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They would need to admit that their old beliefs were wrong and potentially face friction among their family and friends. But they can become a real source of inspiration. Think about how influential Saul was once he became Paul. Or think about how influential Scott Hahn was once he left Protestantism for Catholicism.

THANKSGIVING

Our life is full of big but’s.

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  • We might like our house, BUT we might wish it had a bigger backyard.

  • We might like our friends, BUT we might wish they were better listeners.

  • We might like our job, BUT we might wish we got paid more, had a closer commute, received more recognition, etc.

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We need to be thankful everyday, not just on Thanksgiving.

 

Do you tend to wake up counting your blessings or counting your problems?

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It’s easy to complain about your back hurting one morning but forget about all the years your back was fine! How can we be more mindful of our blessings before they’re taken away?

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There are two ways of looking at our lives:

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  1. As if there’s nothing to be thankful for and everything’s a tragedy.

  2. As if there’s always something to be thankful for.

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For example, let’s look at Squanto’s life…

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  • Squanto’s name means “wrath of God“, and in many ways, that’s what his life looked like. When Squanto was 12 to 14 years old, he was lured onto a ship by Captain Thomas Hunt (with two dozen other Patuxet Indians) and made a slave. He was brought to Spain, where he was sold to a couple people. Those people, after holding him for a while, sent him away to England. When he got to England, another man had Squanto live with him for three years and then finally got rid of him, sending him across the Atlantic (but not back home). Squanto had to live with another guy for another two years in Newfoundland (2,000 miles away from his home). After this round-trip of five to seven years, Squanto finally got back to Plymouth Rock. When he finally got home, he looks for his family and his tribe and discovered that everybody he knew was dead. His entire family, entire tribe had been decimated by disease. He was begrudgingly taken in by a neighboring tribe, who viewed him with suspicion. After a couple weeks, more Europeans arrived (the pilgrims). And since Squanto knew how to speak English, they sent him out to deal with those Englishmen. After a number of years of serving them and a number of years of working with them, Squanto ultimately got disease from the Europeans and ended up dying.

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OR...

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  • When Squanto was 12 to 14 years old (around 1614), he was lured aboard Thomas Hunt’s ship. Thomas Hunt sailed to Spain to sell Squanto and the other Patuxet Indians. Interestingly, 77 years before this happened, Pope Paul III issued a decree that absolutely prohibited slavery in any Catholic country. Because of this, when Thomas Hunt brought Squanto to Spain, the people who bought him were two Jesuit priests (who bought him to set him free). After a bit of time, they sent him to England because his chances of getting back to the Plymouth Rock area were most likely if he left from England. When he got to England, there’s a man named John Slaney who took him in and allowed Squanto to live with him. He cared for Squanto and even taught him English. After three years, John Slaney was able to pay for Squanto’s way across the Atlantic (but the best he could do was get him to Newfoundland). When Squanto got to Newfoundland, there’s another man named Thomas Herder who took Squanto into his home and cared for him. After two years of finally trying and trying and trying, they were able to get down back to Plymouth Rock. When Squanto got home, yes, his family had died and the tribe had died. The neighboring tribe, even if they were a little bit suspicious, brought him in. Weeks later, Englishmen (the pilgrims) arrived. Imagine their perspective: “How are we going to survive in this new country? How are we going to get through winter?” Out of the woods walks not only a native to that area (who knows how to hunt, how to fish, and how to plant) but also can speak perfect Queen’s English. To those pilgrims, Squanto was embraced. Squanto lived and died among those pilgrims as brothers and sisters. So much so that after Squanto died, Governor William Bradford (the governor of the Plymouth Plantation), said that Squanto was “a special instrument sent to us of God to provide for our good beyond any expectation”.

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How much are you actually entitled to? Often times, we mistakenly perceive a need or desire as our right.

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Dr. John Townsend wrote a book called The Entitlement Cure.

In it, he pointed out that:

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  • We have certain “earned” rights. If you accept a job, you might have dental and health benefits in exchange for the work you do.

  • We have certain “contractual” rights. If you live in the United States, you have the right to vote and to bear arms.

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Besides this, we take a lot of gifts for granted, such as:

  • Family

  • Vacations

  • Cell phones

  • Indoor plumbing

  • College education

  • Functional legs/arms/ears/eyes

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When we view these things as rights and not as gifts, we stop being grateful for them.

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Sometimes, it’s easy to get annoyed. But when we complain about inconveniences, we forget about the underlying gifts. We don’t always need to pretend that everything is ok. But acknowledging our “backwards blessings” can help ease our anger at the situation.

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  • If Father Mike gets annoyed that people didn’t turn off the lights or the fan at the Newman Center, he can remember to be thankful that college students are willing to spend time there.

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  • If someone gets annoyed at having to wait in a long line for confession, they can remember to be thankful that they live in a community where a lot of people are willing to sacrifice their time reconciling with the Lord instead of doing more seemingly pleasant activities.

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  • If a wife gets annoyed that her husband left a dirty plate in the kitchen sink instead of washing it, she can remember to be thankful that she has someone she loves to share meals with.

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  • If a married couple gets annoyed at their child’s mess, they can remember to be thankful that they have a child of their own (which infertile couples can’t have).

EMOTIONS

Even if our circumstances can’t change, our perspective can. And we must maintain good habits despite our mood.

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FEAR

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Fear reveals what we value.

  • Fear of abandonment means we value social connection.

  • Fear of danger means we value safety.

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Maybe our fear resembles that of a skydiver. But if we treat God like a parachute and trust in His mercy and hold on for dear life, then our lives will be saved.

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Typically, it’s good to fall somewhere within the spectrum of tortured fear and stupid confidence.

​

Don’t let the fear of losing stop you from playing the game!

Our fear can prevent us from growing (similar to how smog prevents orchards from growing in downtown LA).

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COURAGE

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As Mark Hart explained in his talk Thirsting for Truth:“Courage” doesn’t mean the absence of fear. It is derived from the Latin word cor (meaning “heart”). Hence, “courage” means the willingness to act from your heart. Let your heart move you forward, even when your brain is telling you to stand still!

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Consider the story of a couple named Rob and Janice…

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When Mark asked Rob how he broke his arm, Rob said he was “battling a snake”.

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What really happened:

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When Rob was in the shower, Janice spotted a snake in the house.

She is deathly afraid of snakes, so she screamed bloody murder.

Rob, hearing that his wife is in trouble, runs out of the shower ASAP – without even grabbing a towel! Buck-naked and covered from head-to-toe with soap, he finds out what the issue is: a snake.

It’s the Garden of Eden all over again! To search for the snake under the couch, Rob gets down on all fours. Their dog, Rex, thinks that Rob is trying to play, so he starts whipping around in circles.Rex’s tooth catches Rob from behind. Rob thinks that he’s been bitten by the snake, so he passes out on the tile floor. Janice is stressed because last year, Rob had a heart attack, so she thinks he just had another. At this point, the neighbor Hank comes over to the window to see what the commotion is. Janice is shooing away Hank, worried about Rob, worried about the snake, and Rex is very confused. Janice calls 9-1-1. When the first paramedic enters through the door, Rex sees a chance for escape and takes off. The second paramedic runs after the dog.

 

So now we’ve got:

  • A paramedic chasing a dog

  • Another paramedic inside the house

  • A 260-pound passed-out lathery man

  • A loose snake

  • A desperate wife

  • A very confused neighbor

 

When the second paramedic comes back, he and the first paramedic try to lift Rob. Because Rob is so lathery, he slips from the paramedics’ grasp and hits his arm on the coffee table.

 

And that is how Rob “broke his arm battling a snake”.

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So what’s the lesson from this?

 

It’s easy for Rob to think of this story as super embarrassing. But nonetheless, he displayed incredible courage and self-sacrifice.

When his bride was in danger, he ran to her aid without a thought!

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NEGATIVITY

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  • Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

    • Athletes are more likely to make shots when they visualize them making it. They are more likely to miss shots when they visualize a miss.

    • If you’re scared to ask someone for help (because you’re intimidated by them or you don’t want to burden them), that person might not know that you need help (so they don’t reach out to you first). So then you just end up without help.

    • You might ignore someone who you think is mad at you (even if they’re actually not). Then that person might think that you’re mad at them (for the same reason). And then the two of you grow apart for a senseless reason.

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  • Learned Helplessness

    • When an elephant is raised in captivity (i.e., a circus), it is kept in place by having one of its legs tied to a stake in the ground. The baby elephant strains against the rope but cannot move. By the time the elephant grows up, it learned that no matter how hard it worked, no matter what it did, it was stuck. Ironic because a full-grown elephant could easily yank the stake out, if only it knew its own strength!

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  • Confirmation Bias​

    • Are you like a vulture (that looks for gross, dead things)?

    • Or are you like a hummingbird (that looks for sweet, life-giving nectar)?

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  • The Ripple Effect

    • Are our words and actions like poison-tipped darts? Or life-giving booster shots?

    • The world is full of nice people. If you can’t find one, be one. For as Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

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EXCITEMENT

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​When we start a new year/ job/ relationship, it’s easy to get excited. But true love isn’t first/ new love. True love is love that has proven itself.

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PERSISTENCE

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We may encounter people who say that they “lost their faith”. But is it really possible to lose one’s faith?

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Faith is both a gift and a virtue. We can choose to give it away or to not cultivate it (similar to how a muscle atrophies). This doesn’t have to happen in one massive decision. It could happen by placing your heart in something else, piece by piece.

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In some non-Catholic weddings, there’s a “sand ceremony” where you get a vase a fill it with 2 different colored sands (that represent the bride and the groom). The idea is that “we’re all mixed together, so it’s impossible for us to be separated!” That’s a cute idea, but the reality is that it can still be separated. 

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The reason why some marriages end in shipwreck is usually not because someone smashed the vase against a wall. It’s because one person said, “I’m going to take a little bit of my colored sand back.” And then the other person said, “I’m going to take some of mine back too.” Little by little, with each small decision, the two end up divided.

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Similarly, we can little by little give our heart to idols or doubts. We might prioritize vacations, sports tournaments, or other events over Sunday mass. And we might remember our conclusion that “religion doesn’t make any sense” without remembering our reasoning behind it.

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Our success can be influenced by how we react to obstacles:

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  • Being fragile (by allowing the obstacle to crush you).

  • Being resilient (by making it through, no better than you were before).

  • Being what Nassim Taleb calls “anti-fragile” (by allowing your perseverance to make you stronger).

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HEAVEN

Everyone dies one day. It’s true that suffering in this life may seem overwhelming, but think about how short this life on Earth seems when compared to eternity! Suffering diminishes when we remember the eternal life that we’re created for.

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  • Think about a scary movie. The movie is only scary because you forget you’re not really in danger. Your fear is definitely real. It scares your socks off, but once the movie’s over and we go back outside, we remember that we’re OK. Those feelings we had during the movie are much smaller than the greater reality of our lives.

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  • Don’t say you’re “picking grapes”. Say you’re “making wine”!

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PURGATORY

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Catholics believe that purgatory is a purification process. It is painful (or at least involves some discomfort). As C.S. Lewis put, “Our souls demand purgatory, don’t they?” He said to imagine you show up at the gates of Heaven. Because Jesus paid the eternal price for your sin, you can enter through the pearly gates. But you would be uncomfortable because you have dirty shoes and filthy rags on. You would prefer to get cleaned up and freed from all attachments first.

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WHO GOES TO HEAVEN?

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Being invited into Heaven is like being invited to a wedding.

Everyone’s invited and the bridegroom wants everyone there to celebrate with. But unless you make all the decisions to get to that wedding feast, you won’t end up there. Once we RSVP “yes”, we have to put in effort to get prepared and travel to the destination.

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  • Maybe you didn’t know you had an invitation.

  • Maybe you thought you’d decide later if you wanted to go or not (once you saw what other arrangements you would have to make to your schedule).

  • Maybe you checked “yes” but didn’t put the RSVP back in the mail.

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What about all the people who never got their invitation? All the people who have never heard of Jesus? We need to pray that those people choose the good that they do know and that God’s grace saves them.

BOUNDARIES

There are two categories of boundaries:

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  • TANGIBLE BOUNDARIES: Physical boundaries protect you and other things.

    • A fence that protects flowers from being eaten by deer

    • A fence that protects livestock from wandering

    • A light curtain that protects people from getting hit by robots

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  • INTANGIBLE BOUNDARIES: ​Invisible boundaries establish standards of acceptable behavior.

    • Laws that prevent a country from pouring toxic waste into other people’s water supply

    • A time limit for how late people can be to a meeting

    • A list of requirements for being a “practicing Catholic” (and receiving the Eucharist)

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Keep the good in, and keep the bad out.

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If you don’t set boundaries for toxic sources, you could be inhaling second-hand smoke. A few decades ago, people weren’t as aware of the negative impacts from smoking, but ignorance didn’t change reality.

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You don’t have to feel pressured to do something just because “everyone else is doing it”. Think of how lemmings can follow each other off a cliff! Instead of being cultural chameleons, we are called to be different! We are called to “be holy” because God is holy (1 Peter 1:16). The Greek word for “holy” is hagios, which means “to be set apart” or “to be different.” You can try to change others by hanging out with “the wrong crowd”, but if that is all that you surround yourself with, they might end up changing you more than you change them.

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WHY BE PRO-LIFE?

A key component of Catholicism is the value and respect for human life.

​

“Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person — among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life” (CCC 2270).

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In regards to pregnancy, the Catholic Church validates three options:

  1. Abstinence

  2. Motherhood

  3. Adoption

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CONTRACEPTION

​

Using contraceptives is much better than aborting lives that have already been formed. It would be a very bad idea to make contraceptives illegal. Due to the hook-up culture, contraceptives should be affordable and accessible to all. But in Catholic ideology, contraceptives wrongfully diminish something that is sacred.

 

As Father Mike explained, a couple should be open to the full meaning of the marital act (i.e., babies and bonding).

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  • If they only want to satisfy the desires of their flesh without being open to kids, they end up using each other.

  • If they’re trying for a baby and plan around a time the woman is ovulating, it’s ok if they’re not in the mood if they generally love each other.

  • If they’re not really looking to get pregnant (but are still open to it), they can plan around a time the woman is not ovulating (i.e., NFP).

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“The spouses’ union achieves the twofold end of marriage: the good of the spouses themselves and the transmission of life. These two meanings or values of marriage cannot be separated without altering the couple’s spiritual life and compromising the goods of marriage and the future of the family” (CCC 2363).

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EDUCATION

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Some schools (or parents) don’t properly teach kids about precautionary measures for preventing unexpected pregnancy.

 

For example, some people don’t know that using two condoms at the same time is NOT “extra protection”. In reality, layering condoms can cause them to break easier.

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CULTURE/ POLITICS

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Hook-up culture is evident in TV shows, movies, etc. While the culture cannot be immediately changed, there are some small steps we can take to alter it.

​

If abortions were illegal (except for in extreme cases), there would be a clear tone set for what’s acceptable (similar to drug laws).

​

Over the course of human history, there have been many things that were evil that were also “legal”. Southerners called fellow human beings “slaves”, Nazis decided what Jews they wanted to kill, and mothers aborted healthy fetuses that they considered to be “burdens” or “inconveniences”.

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Saying that abortions are “going to happen anyway” whether they are legal or not is like saying people are going to do drugs whether they’re legal or not. People who are determined enough might figure out a way to get their way, but laws can at least save some lives.

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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Many women who are pro-choice advocates say it’s “their body, their choice.” And they tell men, ”No uterus, no opinion.”

​

But actual issues of “woman’s rights” are about equal pay, the right to vote, etc.

​

Men can still recognize something that’s morally evil, despite their identity as a man. Otherwise, it’s similar to saying that a man who sees a woman beating a puppy in her backyard is ok (because since he’s not a female dog-owner, what does he know is right or wrong?).

 

Even though a fetus is inside a uterus, it has a different genetic composition from the mother’s. The baby is an entirely different human being (that is literally the most innocent among us and deserves its own rights too).

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EXTREME CASES

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Many pro-life advocates immediately turn to cases of rape, incest, abnormal fetuses, or mothers whose health is at risk. But these cases are the vast minority of all abortion cases! Rather than using these cases as excuses to justify all abortions, first focus on the usual, non-extreme cases.

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EUPHEMISMS

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Euphemisms like “clump of cells” and “terminating a pregnancy” cover up what’s going on. It’s true that the fetus is a clump of cells, but so are you! Details of what goes on in an abortion “procedure” shows how evil it is to terminate the baby’s life. In the first or second trimesters, either the baby gets suctioned out with a vacuum or it gets crushed so that the doctor can pull out each limb piece by piece.

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DEFINING "LIFE"

​

Science says that life begins at the moment of conception. It fulfills the criteria of biological life (of growth, metabolism, and reaction to stimuli). Using any other definition makes it difficult to draw the line at when abortions are acceptable.

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  • Is the ability to sustain itself the deciding factor? But even newborns and toddlers can’t sustain themselves. They require assistance for being fed and cared for.

  • Is location the deciding factor? But then is it ok to stab a full-term baby inside the womb but not ok to stab it one minute later outside the womb? With modern technology, premature babies at as early as the 24-week mark can survive (whether they are in the womb or not).

  • Is being sentient/ conscious the deciding factor? But what about when you’re asleep? And what do we do with people in a coma (who are expected to be functional again in a few months)? Do we pull the plug on them?

  • Is having experiences with others the deciding factor? A fetus already forms a connection with its mother by recognizing her voice. And the mother can feel when it kicks, hiccups, and moves around. And what about people with dementia (who can’t remember their past experiences)?

  • Is having a heartbeat the deciding factor? But what about people who rely on a pacemaker to generate their heartbeat? Do they not deserve to live?

  • Is being able to detect pain the deciding factor? A recent study showed that babies can feel pain as early as at the 12-week mark (even though it was previously believed that it was the 22-week mark). But if detecting pain is the only standard, then what about people who are born without pain receptors? Should we kill them (since they can’t feel it anyway)?

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RESOURCES

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After an unexpected pregnancy occurs, some people don’t think they have what it takes to raise a kid. In cases where the mother is too young, financially unstable, addicted to drugs, etc., putting the baby up for adoption might be the best option. But there may be more resources out there than the mother realizes.

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  • The Christian charity “Embrace Grace” provides practical and emotional help. They send single young women who are considering abortions a “love box” that includes a letter of inspiration, a book, and a onesie for free. This organization also connects them to other women in the same boat so that they don’t feel scared or alone. Through this community, these women can share advice and support one another.

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FOSTER CARE

​

Some pro-choice advocates point out how broken the foster care system in America is.

​

  • Many foster homes are over-crowded and under-funded.

  • Many foster kids are abused, feel neglected, and aren’t given proper resources for success.

​

We should be putting more attention into bettering the foster care system (instead of putting as many of our resources into abortion clinics or IVF clinics). For example, we could lower the costs and waiting times for domestic adoption (so that not as many childless parents travel abroad to adopt). And foster kids could be given more guidance on money management, career options, driving lessons, etc. (so that they are ready for life after foster care if they don’t get adopted before 18 or 21 years of age).

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MENTAL HEALTH

​

For 50 years, Roe v Wade gave doctors the power to override abortion restrictions due to just the mother’s emotional reasons. But correcting an evil with another evil usually isn’t a good idea. After an abortion, the mother tends to become depressed, wonders “what if”, or regrets the decision completely.

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TESTIMONIES

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  • After carrying out more than 75,000 abortions, Dr. Bernard Nathanson had a change of heart on abortion. After seeing ultrasound technology, he realized that he was actually killing human beings. He became a strong pro-life advocate and produced books and videos that affirmed his position (such as “The Silent Scream”).

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  • All Abby Johnson wanted to do was help women. She was a clinic director at Planned Parenthood, helping pave the way for 22,000 abortions (which she thought was giving women freedom). But one day, when she witnessed an actual abortion procedure on ultrasound, she changed her mind. Today she is a pro0life advocate. The movie “Unplanned” is about her experience.

WHAT ABOUT LGBTQ+ FOLKS?

What is the purpose of marriage?

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If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything.

 

You can’t identify as 60 if you’re 16. You can’t identify as Asian if you’re

white. You can’t identify as being 7-ft tall if you’re 5-ft tall.

 

Gender Identity: Can a 5'9, White Guy Be a 6'5, Chinese Woman? - YouTube

 

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Facts don’t care about your feelings.

 

It’s true that there’s no “one-size-fits-all-mold”, but if genitalia and chromosomes don’t define what makes a man a man and a woman a woman, what does?

 

If you go to any doctor in the world and say “cut off my arm, a healthy limb”, they won’t do that. But things get fuzzier in our modern culture when we talk about transition surgery.

 

Ben Shapiro’s grandpa had paranoid schizophrenia. If people told him, “Yes, we agree that the radio and the curtains are talking to you”, that would just be feeding into his delusion instead of helping him see the truth. Instead, putting him in a hospital and giving him lithium helped him. There’s no good treatment for other issues like gender dysphoria (and suicide rates in those demographics are high due to the pressure that they feel), but it’s not ultimately good to allow for a mismatch in bathrooms and sports and such.

 

Venus Williams is an excellent tennis player and ranked #1 for females, but even she still can’t compete with males. When she warmed up with a male tennis player ranked 200th in the world, she lost 0-6 then 1-6.

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

TYPES OF FRIENDSHIPS

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  1. PLEASANT: People you hang out with on weekends by watching TV or playing games because you enjoy their company.

  2. USEFUL: People in the same boat as you (i.e., the same class, sports team, or job) who you befriend to make the situation better, but lose contact with once the season changes or the project finishes.

  3. VIRTUOUS: People you discuss deep personal issues with while helping each other understand life and how to fulfill potential.

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Virtuous friendships are the hardest to find and they take time to develop. But they are typically the longest-lasting because they aren’t based on flimsy or fleeting things.

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WANTING TO FIX PEOPLE
 

  • When there’s something wrong, we try to fix it.

  • If we can’t fix it, we replace it with a new car.

  • If we can’t replace it (because we don’t have enough money or enough resources), we ignore the problem.

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This mentality doesn’t really work for spouses, roommates, or anyone else that we interact with.

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  • “Fixing” people can be motivated out of love, but usually it’s motivated by: “This annoys me and so I want you to stop doing that.”

  • If it doesn’t get “fixed”, we replace them for someONE else (e.g., get divorced and remarry), or less drastically, for someTHING else (e.g., turn to romance novels and movies).

  • Or we just ignore them.

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Instead, we should use "the Little Way" to accept that person and all their idiosyncrasies. Maybe they struggle with things that you don’t (like being tidy or being on time).

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Father Mike used to have a college roommate who was a great guy but always chewed with his mouth open (since his nose was stuffed a lot). This used to really annoy Father Mike, but instead of not eating lunch with him anymore, he thought: “Yeah, that’s my buddy. No one chews with their mouth open quite like him.”

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Unless you accept someone and learn how to delight in them, you’re not going to be able to love them. This doesn’t mean condoning everything they do. God doesn’t condone everything you do, but he accepts it, saying, “This is my child”.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNITY

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People can give us support and advice before we do things we regret.

 

  • When Judas walked off into the night to betray Jesus, the other apostles might have just assumed that he was going to give money to the poor or so and that he was fine. If they would have talked with him, they might have understood his thoughts and his feelings and his intentions better and maybe they could have changed his mind. How often do we just assume that other people (at our church, work, etc.) are “just fine”?

 

When something good captures our hearts (like a good movie or a good band or a good book), we tend to point other people to it. So we can share our joys with others (and some of those joys should involve the Church).

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WHY LOVE IS MORE THAN A FEELING

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In the Bachelorette, a lot of the guys try to make their case by telling the girl: “I’ve never felt like this before.” They don’t say “No one has understood me so well before” or “I think we can really grow together” because they haven’t spent enough time together to know if that’s true or not!

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There are four types of love:

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  1. EROS: The love of desire.

  2. STORGE: The love of affection.

  3. PHILIA: The love of friendship.

  4. AGAPE: Unconditional love.

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While each form of love is good in its own way, they have to be accounted for correctly. Eros is the most temporary of all the loves. When we try to make decisions that are based on fleeting desires we have, they’re bound to fail. Imagine choosing your spouse or your profession based on how you felt about it 5 years ago. Would you be happy with the outcome?

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DOES GOD LOVE SOME PEOPLE MORE?

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In his book Nature and Grace, Saint Thomas Aquinas argues that God loves all people with equal intensity. God IS Love and he specifically created each person because he wants them to exist, so he cannot love different people more or less. However, the degree to which we open ourselves up to His love varies.

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  • ANALOGY 1: Parents usually say that they love all their kids equally. Sibling #1 is pretty well-put together and doesn’t need a lot from their mom and dad. Sibling #2 is sick or going through a hard break-up or experiencing some other hard time. The parents are going to comfort and care for Sibling #2 more, but this doesn’t mean that they love Sibling #1 any less. They’re just loving their kids according to their kids’ needs. We fall into the trap of thinking that God loves us based off of our performance. But it’s the exact opposite! God loves us more if we need him more.

  • ANALOGY 2: If your heart is small but full, you’re not going to resent someone whose heart is bigger and also full. Imagine you fill a shot glass full of water. Now imagine you fill a mug full of water. Both the shot glass and the mug are as full as they possibly can be. The shot glass isn’t going to resent the mug for having more water in it. It can’t get any more full.

  • ANALOGY 3: The joy that you experience is not limited by the opportunity, but rather by your capacity. A Dominican brother named Timothy Danaher wrote an article that explains our capacity to enter into the Father’s love. Suppose a couple (Jack and Jill) goes to a football game. Jack is a die-hard football fan. Jill isn’t a fan of the sport, but she loves Jack, so she goes to the championship game with him. After a super close, intense match, Jack’s team ends up winning and the stadium goes nuts! Jack is happy to his absolute max, and Jill is happy to her absolute max.

  • ANALOGY 4: The more we enter into God’s heart, the more our love capacity grows. The more times a scuba diver dives into the ocean, they increase their lung capacity. So their capacity to go deeper increases. Likewise, we can grow in our capacity for God’s love!

  • ANALOGY 5: Sunlight can be reflected in a clean mirror better than a dirty one. “He shows much more of Himself to some people than to others — not because He has favourites, but because it is impossible for Him to show Himself to a man whose whole mind and character are in the wrong conditions. Just as sunlight, though it has no favourites, cannot be reflected in a dusty mirror as clearly as in a clean one” (Mere Christianity, 135).

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WHAT IS OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD LIKE?

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Scripture repeatedly compares our relationship with God as that between:

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  • A husband and his bride: Loving and passionate

  • A father and his son: Authoritative and wants the best for his child

  • A shepherd and his sheep: Wise and always there to offer guidance

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SIGNS THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS FALLING APART

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Psychologist  Dr. John Gottman pioneered the study of micro expressions. While observing a couple’s interactions, he could predict if that couple was on the brink of divorce by looking for the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”:

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  1. Defensiveness

  2. Stonewalling

  3. Criticism

  4. Contempt

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Stonewalling is often misunderstood. It leaves a person feeling unseen.

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  • Imagine Jill comes home from work super happy. She excitedly tells Jack, “I got a promotion at work!” Jack just looks up and says, “Hmm, you know, we’re out of milk today.” 

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  • Or imagine that Jill storms in, saying, “You won’t believe what happened to me today! I hit a pothole and got a flat tire, so I was late to work, so my boss was angry at me.” Jack looks up and says, “You’re kidding. Huh.” Then he goes back to whatever he was doing.

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There’s more to “being seen” than literally looking at someone with your eyes. And there’s more to “listening” than just hearing noise. The greatest desire as human beings is to be seen and known and cared for and loved. There’s even a tribe in Africa where people greet each other by saying, “I see you.” Stonewalling shuts all of those things down.

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  • Now imagine that a lady got home from work and immediately starts telling her husband about her day (while he continues to play video games). Even if he’s listening and replying to what she’s saying (and thinking that he’s doing great by multi-tasking), the lady might still feel unseen. They might need a compromise of ten minutes of “eyeball time” where she gets undivided attention and feels heard.

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Communication is essential for any relationship.

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  • A husband can’t be a good spouse to his wife if there’s not good communication between them. He needs to ask her what he’s doing that she likes and what he’s doing that she doesn’t like. And use that feedback to grow.

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  • If you’re a doctor, you need to be able to comprehensively understand all of your patient’s symptoms. If you just vaguely tell people that “they’re sick” but don’t offer any specific treatments, they’re never going to get better.

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  • One time, a young black girl who was a grad student at Father Mike’s Neumann Center went up to him and asked why he’s never given a homily about racism for the past 5-6 years she’s been there. His first response was explaining that from his point of view, there’s no point in talking about an evil that everyone knows is wrong. To him, it felt like telling everyone that stealing is wrong. But she responded by saying that, “No, not everyone knows that racism is wrong.” So Father Mike realized that he needed to listen more to the people he was giving talks to in order to effectively give them guidance about all of the issues that they are experiencing. And because racism is not an issue that he’s personally experienced, it’s not a topic that he thought particularly a lot about.

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There’s an interesting African proverb that demonstrates the dangers of acting without listening.

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Once upon a time, there were a group of monkeys that lived on an island. One day there was this huge storm that caused the water levels to go up and up and up. While the monkeys were seeking higher ground, they noticed other animals that were flailing around in the water. With good intentions, the monkeys risked their own lives to pull those drowning animals out of the water and place them on the shore. When the animals crazily flopped around, the monkeys thought that was a sign that they were happy for being rescued. After a few moments, those animals began laying perfectly still. The monkeys were confused and thought, “Wait a minute, I don’t think those animals are sleeping. I think we just killed them!” Those animals turned out to be fish…

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This story shows how dangerous it can be to just assume you know what to do without really trying to understand the people that you are trying to help. Even if you are doing things out of the goodness of your heart, make sure that what you’re doing is actually good for them in the long run. Don’t force people into your way of life. Let go of your pride and pray about how you can effectively minister.

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WHY SELF-CARE IS IMPORTANT FOR LOVING OTHERS

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I know that I’m called to love others, but where’s the line between loving others and taking care of myself? That line is all over the board, depending on what season of life you’re in.

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  • If you have an infant, your time for self-care is LOW and your time for caring for others is HIGH.

  • If you’re an empty-nester, you have flexibility to pick and choose where you get to serve.

  • If you’re married, you may have little time to yourself.

  • If you’re single, you may have a lot of time by yourself.

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On an airplane, one of the pre-flight instructions is that if the cabin loses pressure, there are going to be oxygen masks that drop from the ceiling. If you’re traveling with an infant, you need to put your own mask on first. Then you’ll be able to help the person next to you. So in cases of emergency, we need to get the bare necessities for ourselves in order to be able to help others. And for another analogy, we can’t pour from an empty cup. But that’s not always what we do.

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One study reported that people are more likely to regularly remember to give their pets medication than themselves medication. They see their incredibly loyal, adorable dogs and cats as more worth taking care of than themselves. The commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” assumes that you actually love yourself. If other people talked to us in the same destructive, condescending way that we sometimes talk to ourselves, there would be a lot of fights.

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Loving yourself isn’t just about choosing what makes you feel good, but choosing what’s good for you.

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  • Maybe loving yourself means asking for help (and not seeing that as a failure). For example, if you’re struggling to raise your kids while also working, know that there used to be times when people had a whole network of people to help raise kids (such as grandpas, grandmas, aunts, uncles, etc.).

  • Maybe loving yourself means establishing boundaries.

  • Maybe loving yourself means recognizing that you don’t have to do it all. You’re not other peoples’ Savior. Only Jesus is.

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While you can help direct His grace to others, it’s best to do that in a manner like an overflowing bowl (where you are so full of grace that it spills out to those around you) as opposed to a pipe (where you are only a vessel).

MISCELLANEOUS

While St. Augustine was working on his book On the Trinity, he took a walk on the seashore to gather his thoughts. He was confused on how God could be three people at once. Then he spotted a child who was using a seashell to transfer water from the sea to a small hole in the sand. Augustine cautioned the child that the task was impossible (since the sea was too large and the hole was too small). The child argued that the task was no less impossible than comprehending the mystery of the Holy Trinity with a limited human understanding.

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As Rupi Kaur put it in Milk and Honey: “What terrifies me most is how we foam at the mouth with envy when others succeed but sigh in relief when they are failing. Our struggle to celebrate each other is what’s proven most difficult in being human.”

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As Craig Groeschel put it in Soul Detox: “Their grass may be greener than yours, but from where you’re standing, you may not be able to see all the poop in their yard” (121).

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There are two types of hypocrites: 

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  1. The “Bad” Kind: People who pretend to believe something that they don’t even believe. Father Mike once knew a man who only went to Church because his boss went there. Once that man retired, he was excited that he “didn’t have to” go to Church anymore.

  2. The “Better” Kind: People who try to follow what they believe but fall short. “Fake it til you make it.” Think, “If I actually fully believed that all people matter (even though I have a hard time believing that, but I know I should), how would I act?” Then strive to act that way anyways.

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MARK HART QUOTES

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“The amount of ‘followers’ you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions. Jesus had twelve.”

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“A rib… loaves and fish… some spit… God can do a lot with a little.”

 

“I’m at my 3-year-old’s concert. It’s full of very off-key, mostly unfocused children, but this father is still beaming. Must be how God feels on Sunday.”

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Teacher: “If your daughter knew her spelling words as well as her Bible stories, she’d get into Harvard.” // Me: “I’ll settle for Heaven.”

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“The atheist barista (who is obsessed with astrology) asked me, ‘So what’s your sign?’ I responded, ‘The sign of the cross.’ I think she spat in my coffee.”

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“Instead of loving the Trinity of God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), we tend to love a different trinity: Me, Myself, and I.”

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A POEM BY MOTHER TERESA

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People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

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If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

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If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

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If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

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What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

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If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

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The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

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Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

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You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

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What you put into your heart is what you get out of your heart. So guard your heart!

 

  • If you’re watching a movie with bad language, you may get more tempted to let some words fly.

 

  • If you’re watching a horror movie, you may feel frightened and paranoid.

 

  • If you’re watching a movie with nudity, you may feel more lustful.

 

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 A cell phone can become an adult pacifier.

 

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It’s an amazing story if God heals you, but there are already many stories like that out there. What’s even more powerful is if you still praise God DESPITE not having yet been healed.

 

In Season 3, episode 2 of The Chosen: At the end, there’s a scene where Little James asks Jesus why he he hasn’t healed his paralysis, and Jesus explains that even though that would make an amazing testimony, there are already other testimonies of his miracles out there, so it would be more unique and powerful for James to testify despite not having been healed himself

 

“When you find true strength because of your weakness, and when you do great things in spite of this, the impact will last for generations.

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One reason why we need to go to Church every Sunday is because we’re like batteries that need to be recharged.

 

Some people think that they only need to get recharged 2 times of the year (on Christmas and on Easter), and if that were true, that would make the priest’s jobs a lot easier.

 

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When we fail at something important: Sometimes heavy things get dropped, but we pick it up and keep moving forward.

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Be the thermostat. Not the thermometer.

 

Set the bar, don’t just react to everyone else.

 

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Jesus said to take up your cross, not your TempurPedic mattress.

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Satan is a snake… No arms and no feet. You could say Satan is disarmed and defeated.

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